


so cold

by loki_of_jotunheim



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: AU, Angstober, Gen, Not Scorpia Rising Compliant, alex rider angst-tober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki_of_jotunheim/pseuds/loki_of_jotunheim
Summary: You caused my heart to bleed andYou still awe me a reasonI can't figure out why.You can't hear me cry and -See my dreams all die.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8
Collections: AR Angstober 2020





	so cold

**Author's Note:**

> song lyrics credits to Ben Cocks "So Cold". I was listening to it and well. Here's my fill for angst-tober. 
> 
> (I promise I"m working on Spy-tify, ya'll, I'm so sorry it's taking a while. I'm not sorry about this...well, maybe a little. Do I regret the pain I'm probably about to cause you? Yes. Do I regret causing this to exist? No.)

She looked peaceful. Like she hadn’t been aware she was - 

But she had. 

“You could have saved her! You could have saved her! You could have- you could have - you -” 

“I know, I know - I  _ know _ . I  _ know _ .” Wolf‘s voice was wracked with tears. 

“No, you don’t! If you knew you’d have done it!” The scream was hoarse and Wolf closed his eyes. “You’d have done it - you -” Alex’s voice hitched and he finished brokenly. “But you couldn’t.”

Alex ran. Wolf let him, the weight of pain too heavy on his shoulders to chase. 

The ocean below roared as the waves crashed against the side of the cliff. Alex stood at the edge, the wind pushing him back towards land. 

“Why?” He whispered. “We - it was good. We had peace - we were normal - you aren’t allowed to fucking  _ leave me _ ! I need you and you’re not here! And I can’t! I can’t!” 

There wasn’t an answer from the ocean, but he didn’t expect one. He sank to the ground, clutching his knees as a wild howl tore from his chest. 

“I need you!” He howled to no one. “You need to come back - you need to come back I can’t do this alone! Why? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why couldn’t I stop it - why - why - couldn’t i save you - it - it - it should have been  _ me _ !” His voice cracked. “You were safe and you were alive and you were here and you weren’t supposed to be involved in any of this! Come back!  _ Please come back _ !” 

The sun slowly sank down the horizon and Alex buried his head and sobbed until his tears were gone.

_ Jack Starbright _

_ Sister _

_ Loved _


End file.
